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Author Topic: Looking for an Angelfish  (Read 5271 times)
hmaxmarius
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« on: Tue, 27 Nov 12 22:06:20 »

Beta's fight too much!

Seriously though, I have found that I am far more likely to finish a longer work if I have someone giving me specific feedback and occasionally nudging me for that next chapter.

I am not, however, looking for a 'copyeditor'.  My idea of a Beta reader is someone who reads for two things:

1) They are able to read the piece, identify holes and point them out to the author.  For example, being able to see areas where the description could be beefed up by asking for more sensory information to make the scene real for the reader. (All authors have a tendency to get trapped in the fact that they see/sense it all in their own head and thus miss out on sharing descriptions by assuming it is already there)  In a way, this role is almost that of a co-author in some respects.  Questions like how did the light reflect into the room?  What did the crypt smell like?  Were there crickets chirping?  There was blood WHERE?

You need to be able to tell me what else YOU need to see in a scene to make it work.

2) Helps me get my money's worth out of the language.  If I'm gonna pay for $5.00 words, I'd better be getting a whole range of different ones to use and not just repeating the same ones five or ten times a paragraph Wink  (One of my previous betareaders used a brickbat labeled 'repetition' on me... repeatedly)
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« Reply #1 on: Wed, 28 Nov 12 11:34:14 »

What crossover are you looking for help with?

I also do the same thing where I launch into hugely convulsed plots because I've planned the whole thing in my head and explained it inadequately, which tends to alienate people, so I get where your coming from and would be happy to help (if I can) but it would have to be something I'm familiar with.
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hmaxmarius
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« Reply #2 on: Wed, 28 Nov 12 12:35:09 »

Hi EB,

Well, I have a couple things running currently.  First is the Robotech xover that I'm a little stalled on.  My next chapter is called 'God of War' and takes place concurrent with the RBTCH episode 'Bye Bye Mars'... Slayer Squadron's first taste of full combat.  My problem is that aside from the Dawn in the Miss Macross competition sub-plot, I'm not doing near enough outside of the action sequences on this story.  Good Buffy and good Robotech always have a nice undercurrent of relationship angst... and I really don't have any of that yet.

I've also picked up challenge 4242 where Willow goes to Halloween as a Starfleet Captain.  The challenge has similarities to the Ship of the Line challenge as well, so I'm kinda combining them.

If you've read my stuff you've also seen I have a couple other crossovers too, Warehouse13, SG-1, and the Great Twinkie Apocalypse Wink

The thing is, by my way of thinking, you do not have to be familiar with any of my xover targets so long as you are willing to be open-minded about them.  To my way of thinking, if you're not familiar with say, Star Trek, then you're more likely to ask me to explain something like the Transporter for a novice reader, rather than assuming the same familiarity blind-spot as I have as the author.

My stories are here: http://www.tthfanfic.org/authors.php?no=22789&list=published

hmm


edit... note the boldface! *ducks as the ghost of 'Jacket' swings 'repetition' at my head
« Last Edit: Wed, 28 Nov 12 12:52:32 by hmaxmarius » Logged

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« Reply #3 on: Wed, 28 Nov 12 13:46:36 »

Yes, I've read your stories, but, although I don't know the Warehouse 13 fandom (other than it appearing in Eureka) and nevertheless enjoyed the story, the Robotech story didn't make any sense to me, I had no idea what was going on. And I don't really want to beta a story I don't understand.

Having said that, I'll help with the Star Trek one, which is a fandom I'm not overly familiar with, when you start writing it.
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hmaxmarius
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« Reply #4 on: Wed, 28 Nov 12 18:39:13 »

Cool!

I've gotten a little written on the Willow/Star Trek story... not sure I'm up to a full chapter yet, but if you pm me your e-mail (or e-mail me, as I have that active, I can send you what I have so far.

Make sure you tell me what format you prefer (.doc/.docx/.odt/etc)  I use Open Office, but I can save from there in most any format.

hmm
« Last Edit: Wed, 28 Nov 12 18:45:44 by hmaxmarius » Logged

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hmaxmarius
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« Reply #5 on: Thu, 29 Nov 12 20:01:33 »

Okay, here's a teaser-taster of the first part of the prologue for the story.  Something that potential beta's can sink their teeth into:

A/N: I do not own, Buffy, Star Trek, or Stargate.  They are the property of their respective rights holders.  I am, however the primary designer of the Omega class C3 Cruiser as depicted in the January/February 1994 volume of the Galactic Engineer's Concordance - Link to the USS Omega specs in the Dynaverse GEC Forum.  http://www.dynaverse.net/forum/index.php/topic,163384812.0.html

Infinity Box

Have you ever stood between two mirrors on opposite walls and wondered what all the rest of the you's were thinking?  Twisted response to Challenge 4242 AND 7035.

Prologue

February 1994

The kitchen door to Willow's house crashed open as her two best friends spilled across the tile as a two-boy tsunami.  “We've found her Wills!  We've found her!”  The two chorused while raiding her fridge for snacks.

As had become the norm over the last several years, thirteen year old Willow was self-sitting while her parents were again out of town for a psychology conference.  In Jessie and Xander's eyes, this made the Rosenberg home party central.  If you considered late nights of role-playing D&D, GURPS, James Bond, and Star Trek to be a party.

Willow shot a sharp glance that bounced between the two boys.  “Who's this she?  I didn't know anyone important was missing?”  At least no one important to the three of them.  After-all, in Sunnydale, there was always someone going missing.

“Not a her...”  Xander bounced.

Jessie flipped a yellow and black covered fanzine onto the table.  “...a she!”

Picking up Jessie's newest copy of the Galactic Engineer's Concordance she flipped it open, thumbing through the ships that the subscribers had submitted for publication.  The two boys could tell when their red-headed bestest female bud hit the right page.

“Oooooo.”  She began devouring the article.

Jessie and Xander leaned in from either side and kissed her cheeks.  “So, Captain.  You like the OMEGA?”

Blushing because Xander actually kissed her cheek, Willow nodded vigorously.  “StillnamingourshipPROMETHEUSthough,” she babbled quickly.

“Hey,”  Jessie grinned.  “Guy stole fire from the gods and gave it to man.  Prometheus is cool!”

Xander stood there beside him nodding.  “Okay, Wills is Captain.  Jess, you're the Chief Engineer...”

“Capt'n, I cannae change the laws o'physics.”

Xander and Willow both whacked Jessie across the back of the head.

“Ow.  You gonna be First Officer this time?”

“Nope.  That was SOOO boring.” Xander shrugged.  “I'm CON.”

“Yep, always knew you had an adversarial side,” the taller boy quipped.

“Chief Of Navigation.  The helmsman, you moron.”

Willow giggled as the three of them pulled out their copy of the Star Trek roleplaying game and began designing their characters to go with the new ship.

Hours later, their character sheets ready and the sun low in the western sky, the three of them stood at the front door of her house.  

“Computer.  Run program Sunnydale One,”  Xander intoned.

Jessie made a beeping noise and shifted to a falsetto voice.  “Acknowledged.”

Willow pulled the two into a hug.  “Idiots.  Get home safe.”

The two slipped out of her arms, scooping up their bikes off of the driveway and rocketing off to get home before sunset.


Okay... that's your taste... tear it apart!  (for continuity, there is a 3 year jump to the next segment which finds Willow, Buffy and Xander in Ethan's...)  The rpg that starts in this scene had run off and on all the way up until Jessie's death in 'The Harvest'.  While I don't want to bog the story down with 'the game', should I have another, intermediate segment - perhaps 'in character' that shows them playing before rolling on into the halloween hijinks?  The prologue wraps with them stepping out the door of Buffy's place in costume, with Chapter 1 (at least) being events during the spell.

hmm
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« Reply #6 on: Thu, 29 Nov 12 23:35:42 »

Are the events of the game in question a foreshadowing of future events?  Because that would get a badass plot device.  If you are going to do something like that, I would say a scene where they are playing the game  is a must.  However, if you're not going to do something like that, some flashbacks or simple dialogue can accomplish your needs nicely.
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« Reply #7 on: Fri, 30 Nov 12 09:49:25 »

I think you definitely need them to play the game, preferably in costume, before jumping to Halloween. Then, on Halloween, Willow/Xander can find their old costume, too small for them now, then nostalgically buy one from Ethan.

That's how I'd go.
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hmaxmarius
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« Reply #8 on: Fri, 30 Nov 12 14:10:52 »

Are the events of the game in question a foreshadowing of future events?  Because that would get a badass plot device.  If you are going to do something like that, I would say a scene where they are playing the game  is a must.  However, if you're not going to do something like that, some flashbacks or simple dialogue can accomplish your needs nicely.

Game events, not so much... however, certain common occurances with the games play heavily into how the chaos spell manifests (note Xander's words as they're leaving)  What I will say is that any scenarios that they game out will be the 'ships history' for the Prometheus... which means that there could be 'flashbacks' later.
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« Reply #9 on: Fri, 30 Nov 12 14:24:37 »

Okay that's cool.  But if you're going to link the way the spell manifests with the game's history, there needs to be a physical link between the two.  If you're linking the metaphysical to the physical, I would suggest that you have them playing the game in memory of Jesse, dragging along whoever else into playing the game that you're going to heed later on in your fic when the spell goes off.
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I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind,
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big gun, I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!

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hmaxmarius
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« Reply #10 on: Fri, 30 Nov 12 14:44:25 »

Okay that's cool.  But if you're going to link the way the spell manifests with the game's history, there needs to be a physical link between the two.  If you're linking the metaphysical to the physical, I would suggest that you have them playing the game in memory of Jesse, dragging along whoever else into playing the game that you're going to heed later on in your fic when the spell goes off.

*nods*

I can see that to a certain extent.  Of course one of the elements of the chaos spell is that it is activating based on the character's they've been playing rather than specific existing characters.  So there is a little more flexibility for the spell to pull the scenario out of the changelings heads.  Otherwise they'd be someone other than a Starfleet version of themselves (per the challenge).
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hmaxmarius
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« Reply #11 on: Fri, 30 Nov 12 14:47:56 »

I think you definitely need them to play the game, preferably in costume, before jumping to Halloween. Then, on Halloween, Willow/Xander can find their old costume, too small for them now, then nostalgically buy one from Ethan.

That's how I'd go.

I can agree with part of that... the costumes though, not so sure about.  I was in a couple Star Trek clubs, and while there were some folks who were into the whole costume thing the Andrew to Xander ratio wasn't that high Wink  I don't think I'll do the costume thing for the games (besides, I want them to get their pips, pins and badges at Ethans Smiley )
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« Reply #12 on: Tue, 04 Dec 12 21:56:53 »

Okay, I've written in some bridging segments referencing the ongoing game, without diving into boring details about what happened in the game.  I think it would be better to revisit those aspects of the game from a post-halloween perspective (ie after Willow finds herself in command of a starship for real)

I have not yet heard back from EnergyBeing regarding the segment I sent to them.  I'm posting the rest of the prolog here for folks to critique. (See my earlier posts about what I look for in Beta-feedback)  All disclaimers already posted apply.  Prolog picks up with the next segment after that already posted:


September, 1995

“Welcome to Con-Spriacy West!  Literary forums are on Concourse B.  The anime schedule is posted outside the Wilkens I Room.  Network gaming is in Wilkens III.  Swap shop is in Wilkens II.  Sign-up for the Vampire LARP is the third table down.  Roleplaying is in the Sunny-D ballroom.  The costume contest runs from 1pm this afternoon until 6pm tomorrow.  Winners will be announced at the costume ball tomorrow night.”

“Sooo Andrew...” Xander sidled up to the registration table with Jesse and Willow in tow.  “Exactly how many times have you said that today?  And how did you score this gig anyway?”

“Doesn't matter Xander.  If I do it for three more hours, I get to participate in the rest of the Con for free.  Some folks Tuck knows are the one's running things.”  He waved at the three friends.  “Hi Jessie, W-Willow.”

“Sweet deal dude.”  Jessie glanced at his two companions, seeing if they had noticed the other boy's blush and stammer toward the girl in their midst.  “We're wanting to test the PROMETHEUS out against some talented opposition and work out some fleet tactics, but we're also up for some actual roleplay with her as well.  You in?”

“Sure!”  Still blushing, Andrew tried to keep from bouncing in his seat.  “Only Star Trek character I have rolled up is a Chief Warrant Officer.”

“Hey, no big!  In fact, it's kinda cool to have enlisted characters as something other than NPCs.”

“Sweet, can I bring Jonathan?”

The three smiled and nodded in the affirmative.

“Great!”  He handed the three of them their name badges and registration packs.  “I'll catch up with you guys in the Ballroom.”

With a wave, the three moved past the registration table.  They were barely out of earshot before both Jessie and Xander were sing-songing on either side of their friend.  “Andrew likes Willow.”

The look on her face, on the other hand did not bode well for her friend's characters, or their insteps for that matter.


November, 1996

Willow stood in the doorway to the dinning room in her house.  Spread across the table were stacks of books, character sheets, dice and notebooks filled with the past adventures she and her friends had gamed.

Adventures that were now done.  Over.  Would never be the same again.

Her eyes red, she picked up the notebooks, carrying them to the den where she curled up in her favorite chair and began to read.  Read the fun that she and Xander and Jessie had created.  A world that she desperately wished were real.  Because if it were real, then Jessie...

...Jessie would not be...

...dead.

Or if he was, then at least his death would have been heroic, and not the ignominious result of falling prey to a skank vampire.

That's not how he would have wanted to go.  Not how he deserved to go.

Picking up her pen, she flipped to the next empty page.

Captain's Log – USS PROMETHUS

Commander McNally, Jessie is dead.  And a part of all of us has gone with him.  His sacrifice *sob* saved us all...



October 30th, 1997

“Ooo.  Shiny!”  The petite blonde bounced on her toes as she pulled a small silver oval with an odd gold shield grafted to it.

Her redheaded best friend spun to look at what she had found.  “Buffy, do you know what that is?”

“Yep!  It's the pretty broach that will go perfect on the dress I'm getting.”

Flouncing off, in a bee-line toward said dress, she left the other girl alone at the counter with the box of shields, pips and pins.

“So Willster, doing the BOO again this year?”  Xander chirped, appearing behind her left shoulder.

Pulling out a couple more shields and a selection of pins, she spun in place, her resolve face already locked in.  “No, I'm not.  And you're not going as some grubby twentieth century grunt either.  Are you Lieutenant Commander?”

Xander fishmouthed for several moments before straightening.  “Ah, no Captain.” Neither of them had channeled their roleplay alter-egos since Jessie had been killed.  Somehow, after almost a year it seemed right to do so again.

Reaching out, Willow dropped a shield,  two solid, and one hollow pip into Xander's hand.  “Excellent.  In that case, I believe I saw our uniforms over there?”

With a grin the two marched through the crowd of shoppers to acquire the appropriate red and black uniforms.

“By the way.  Does Buffy know that's a Star Trek com-badge and not just some pretty piece of jewelry?”

Willow just smiled.



The next afternoon found Xander standing on the porch of 1630 Revello Drive.  Self-consciously he tugged the waist of his shirt downward.  Something about the way the pull-overs were assembled caused their shoulders to want to slide backward, pulling the hem up.

“Picard maneuver?”

He damn near jumped off the porch.  “Mrs. Summers!  I didn't hear you open the door.”

Joyce gave him patented mom look number twenty-three.  Also known as the 'No-one expects the Momish inquisition' look.  “Still got it,” she murmured, waving the young man through the door.

“The girls are almost ready.  They should be down shortly.  Why don't you have...”

The clip of heels on the stairs interrupted the usual pleasantries.

“I officially renounce spandex and lycra!”  Xander sketched a bow.  “Lady Buffy of Buffdom, it is an honor.”

“I must say, you look rather dashing in that uniform, good sir.  Of course, a couple quick darts on the seams really made Cap...Casper...”  Buffy and Xander's jaws dropped open as Willow stepped into view wearing a ghost sheet.

“Gotcha!”  Willow whipped the sheet off revealing a well tailored Starfleet Captain's uniform.  Unlike Xander's standard Next Generation uniform, hers had the black pants with the steel turtle-neck and the burgundy and brown leather jacket.  Four solid pips adorned the right side of the shirt's collar while her com-badge rode in regulation perfect position on her left chest.  

At a glance Xander happened to notice that the badge Buffy had bought was similarly positioned on her dress.

“As a security function, Commander Summers is going incognito tonight Lieutenant Commander Harris.”

Xander's head whipsawed back to Willow.  His jaw opened, then he thought better of what he was about to say.  Of course, his mouth decided to ignore the waves of common sense flooding down from his brain.  “How'd I end up low man on the totem pole?”

The three women in the foyer all broke into distinctly non-regulation giggles.

“Do you need a ride to the school?”

“No Mom.  We'll walk.”

“In that case, I'm gonna finish getting ready for my party,” Joyce started up the stairs.  “Don't stay out too late at the Bronze tonight.”

“We won't Mom.”

The three waved as she turned the corner at the top of the steps.

“Commander?”

“Chief of Security even!”

Xander shook his head slowly.  “Willow?”

The redhead had to stifle her giggles.  “I told her about the game and she wanted in.  We rolled up the character this afternoon.”

“Besides,” Buffy interrupted.  “Giles wants me to try to think more strategically.  Willow says that joining your game will help.”

“Well then,” Xander crooked an elbow and offered it to the slayer.  “Computer, run holodeck program Buffy one zero dash three one dash nine seven.”

Willow whacked him on the back of the head as she leaned around to open the door.  Two steps after leaving the porch, she was firmly ensconced on Xander's other arm.



:side note:  In 1992 I was part of a Star Trek fan club that helped to run a Literary Science Fiction convention called Con-Spiracy.  We hold two distinctions.  We were one of the very very few independent first-time conventions to actually make money.  The second distinction is that we were one of, if not the very first convention to host the Vampire LARP. (Scary!)
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« Reply #13 on: Tue, 04 Dec 12 22:04:11 »

One thing I'm looking for guidance on.  The first episode of Buffy is not really clear on when it is set.  The only clear thing to me is that it is not the first day of the school year, it is merely Buffy's first day there.  But the question is... when is it?  Being as Giles tells Buffy the following year that Halloween is a supernatural quiet time, I'm guessing that events take place sometime after Halloween 1996... the question is how long after?  Thus why I'm implying that the events of 'The Harvest' take place in November.
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« Reply #14 on: Tue, 04 Dec 12 22:33:11 »

One thing I'm looking for guidance on.  The first episode of Buffy is not really clear on when it is set.  The only clear thing to me is that it is not the first day of the school year, it is merely Buffy's first day there.  But the question is... when is it?  Being as Giles tells Buffy the following year that Halloween is a supernatural quiet time, I'm guessing that events take place sometime after Halloween 1996... the question is how long after?  Thus why I'm implying that the events of 'The Harvest' take place in November.

It's intentionally ambiguous, IMO. It was filmed in the summer/fall but was a mid-season replacement and wasn't broadcast until the spring. And I don't think there were any holiday episodes the first season.

I've always assumed it took place after Buffy's birthday, since there's no mention of that the first season. And, of course, she's sixteen already in that first episode and she turns 17 in season 2 in January.

Dialogue from the very first episode:

Quote
Joyce You know, I think we can make it work here. I’ve got my positive energy flowing. . . I’m gonna get the Gallery on its feet. . . Oh, uh, we may have found a space today.

Buffy That’s great.

Joyce Oh, and that school is a, a very nurturing environ- ment, which is just what you need.

Buffy Well, actually. . .

Joyce Oh, not too nurturing. I know, you’re sixteen, I’ve read all about the dangers of over-nurturing.


So, post-January. And the sport you see being played in one of the episodes is basketball so... spring.

« Last Edit: Tue, 04 Dec 12 22:39:09 by acs » Logged

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« Reply #15 on: Tue, 04 Dec 12 23:01:47 »

True, but the cheerleading tryouts in the second episode make it look like it should be earlier in the school year.
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--Seventh Doctor in "Survival"
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« Reply #16 on: Tue, 04 Dec 12 23:13:18 »

Excellent points about Buffy's age.  I had leaned toward the fall because of the 'Harvest' references...

As to the Cheerleading tryouts, I know when I was in High School that some of the cheerleaders were involved in other sports, most of which took place in the spring (basketball, volleyball and softball).  A similar situation at Sunnydale High could lead to needing to recruit replacements and there were only a very limited number of open spots...

I think I'm going to shift my timeline to February for that part.

Thanks for the feedback
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« Reply #17 on: Tue, 04 Dec 12 23:35:06 »

True, but the cheerleading tryouts in the second episode make it look like it should be earlier in the school year.

That would be one of those ambiguous events I mentioned. There are also several posters/signs that we see in passing that are more appropriate for fall than spring.

But I think Buffy's age when the show starts trumps all of that. If those first twelve episodes that make up Season 1 were all we had, then you could say the events of the Harvest take place in the fall. But we have 6 seasons AFTER that where Buffy's birthday takes place in January, to say nothing of other episodes that are seasonal ( Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.), and most episodes post season 1 are vaguely placable on a calendar around the time they were originally broadcast and more episodic than the first season.

Of course, when writing fan fiction, you can do whatever you want, though most readers prefer SOME acknowledgement of major canon episode order/events (Like character birthdays) before thing go AU (even if you do a time shift to line things up with another fandom)
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« Reply #18 on: Wed, 05 Dec 12 06:58:59 »

True, but the cheerleading tryouts in the second episode make it look like it should be earlier in the school year.

Unless, given that this is Sunnydale, it was for 'replacement' cheerleaders!

I too, always treat season one as being spring through the end of the school year.  Prophecy girl does seem to be geared to the end of the school year.
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« Reply #19 on: Wed, 05 Dec 12 14:37:04 »

That's true.  The swim team had extra tryouts when the swimmers turned into fish monsters and disappeared.
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« Reply #20 on: Wed, 05 Dec 12 19:03:16 »

Excellent points about Buffy's age.  I had leaned toward the fall because of the 'Harvest' references...

The Harvest took place on "the crescent moon, the first past the solstice."

That places it some time in the 4 weeks following December 21, no later than January 20.  (If they were really paying attention to the phases of the moon following the 1996 winter solstice, it would have been January 12.)

Buffy's birthday is sometime in the third week of January, and since she's already 16 during this episode, it may have just been a day or two ahead of the series start.
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« Reply #21 on: Thu, 06 Dec 12 09:40:20 »

Excellent points about Buffy's age.  I had leaned toward the fall because of the 'Harvest' references...

The Harvest took place on "the crescent moon, the first past the solstice."

That places it some time in the 4 weeks following December 21, no later than January 20.  (If they were really paying attention to the phases of the moon following the 1996 winter solstice, it would have been January 12.)

Buffy's birthday is sometime in the third week of January, and since she's already 16 during this episode, it may have just been a day or two ahead of the series start.


Great info! I may reset that particular segment to read January 22nd, 1997 in that case... since it would work well with your latest date.
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« Reply #22 on: Thu, 06 Dec 12 16:20:40 »

Buffy's birthday is sometime in the third week of January, and since she's already 16 during this episode, it may have just been a day or two ahead of the series start.

1/19/81, according to the wiki: http://buffy.wikia.com/wiki/Buffy_Summers
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« Reply #23 on: Thu, 06 Dec 12 19:06:22 »

Buffy's birthday is sometime in the third week of January, and since she's already 16 during this episode, it may have just been a day or two ahead of the series start.

1/19/81, according to the wiki: http://buffy.wikia.com/wiki/Buffy_Summers

People who fix Buffy's birthday down to a specific date do so by basing it on the air dates of the various Buffy Birthday episodes. The in-verse evidence doesn't place it that precisely.
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« Reply #24 on: Fri, 07 Dec 12 09:53:46 »

Buffy's birthday is sometime in the third week of January, and since she's already 16 during this episode, it may have just been a day or two ahead of the series start.

1/19/81, according to the wiki: http://buffy.wikia.com/wiki/Buffy_Summers

People who fix Buffy's birthday down to a specific date do so by basing it on the air dates of the various Buffy Birthday episodes. The in-verse evidence doesn't place it that precisely.


Considering that I'm more interested in when Jessie died than when Buffy turned 16, 1/20/97 is a good date for The Harvest for my story.  Allowing a day for events to play out and for Willow to absorb that Jessie is dead plays well for setting the Captain's Log scene for the 22nd.

Thanks to all for the feedback... any comments on the story?  Is there something more that it needs description-wise?  Anything else you (inclusive) wish to see, hear, smell, or taste?
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« Reply #25 on: Fri, 07 Dec 12 10:55:03 »

I've been wanting to see a Starfleet ship come across the consortium of planets that fell under the rule of the late great Zan, from the show Roswell.  Maybe you could make that happen?  Please?
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« Reply #26 on: Fri, 07 Dec 12 18:46:01 »

I've been wanting to see a Starfleet ship come across the consortium of planets that fell under the rule of the late great Zan, from the show Roswell.  Maybe you could make that happen?  Please?

Being as my dad actually graduated from Roswell N.M. High School in the early 1960's, I had a hard time getting into that particular show, unfortunately. Sad  I'm afraid I know nowhere near enough about the fandom to even attempt it, much less do it justice.
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« Reply #27 on: Sat, 08 Dec 12 13:29:38 »

Damn.

This should get you started. . .

http://www.1channel.ch/watch-5203-Roswell
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« Reply #28 on: Sun, 16 Dec 12 20:48:00 »

Okay... this story is officially crossing three fandoms.  Stargate SG-1 (timeline advanced by roughly 5 months), Star Trek (specifically from a role-playing perspective, not a specific show, as that is the only way for me to meet the challenge posed by person who issued the Captain Willow of the PROMETHEUS challenge) and, of course Buffy.  There may be some other minor crosses depending on who some of the character's went to Halloween as. (Like Jonathan Levinson dressing as Jacen Solo).

Why include SG-1?  Because I like the idea of the PROMETHEUS having to deal with threats to Earth.  Especially as the 'only ship in the quadrant'.  Also, some of the other writers have done some interesting things with needing Slayer's on other planets and I'd like to play with the idea of Buffy and Giles establishing guardians over hellmouth's on other worlds, with the PROMETHEUS as their base of operations.

Besides, there was one question that Jack never asked any of the Goa'uld...  One James T. Kirk DID ask the one 'so called god' he encountered.

Anyway, I'm still looking for feedback from anyone interested.  PM or e-mail me and I'll shoot you a copy of what I have!
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« Reply #29 on: Sat, 05 Jan 13 15:11:05 »

I have been asked by a couple reviewers for details on the ship in my Star Trek YAHF.  As we cannot load images here, I will be dropping the images in a Photobucket account and making them available as a link off of the second chapter.  The write-ups will be located in the next two posts here.
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« Reply #30 on: Sat, 05 Jan 13 15:12:07 »

USS OMEGA Class
Max "Starbuck" Hall and Jeff Santabaaka

   The OMEGA CLASS, while officially listed on the fleet roster as merely a heavy cruiser, is much more than that. with the fire-power of a GALAXY CLASS, the shielding of a Dreadnought, sensory capability equaling that of dedicated science vessels, and a communications outfit that rivals that at Starfleet Headquarters, it is no wonder that some have considered the possibility of creating a whole new classification for this vessel. Therefore it is an honor to present you with the vital statistics for Starfleet's new Command and Control Cruiser, the USS OMEGA!

Design History:
   The incident at Wolf 359 has had a far ranging and lasting impact upon Starfleet Operations and Planning. The accelerated procurement of Nebula Class Cruisers, rapid production of the Pegasus Class Heavy Cruiser, and increased emphasis on Combat Training at the Academy and within the fleet have been only some of the more obvious effects.
   In spite of the Commanding Admiral's superb tactical coordination and excellent fleet battle-plan execution, an independent investigation determined that overall coordination and effectiveness could increase as much as fourfold with the introduction of a starship class dedicated solely to fleet Command and Control. In essence, a purpose-designed Flagship.
   Starfleet Command was forced to rethink its concept of Flagships. While a policy was made to continue referring to the senior front-line exploration vessels in each sector as flagships, tactical coordination and fleet command would revolve around the newly designated Command and Control Cruisers.
   Initial consideration centered on the possibility of retro-fitting several of the unfinished Galaxy Class frames to this role. However, extensive testing with the USS NOGURA NCC-54796 pointed up a number of inadequacies.
   While internal volume was sufficient to the specific needs of the class, substantial redesign of the internal structure would be required to provide the support and supplies needed by the additional Anti-matter core and three additional computer cores. Additional space would have to be developed for a doubled lateral sensor array, the internal power grid would have to be totally reworked, and the deflector arrays would have to be completely replaced.
   As a result of these drawbacks, only the Nogura frame was fitted out to this role. The Nogura went on to serve mainly as a testbed for many of the new ideas that were to be incorporated into the OMEGA Class design. She also served in a stopgap role until the commissioning of the USS OMEGA NCC-25743 on 22 July 2375. The USS NOGURA continues to serve as a research and training vessel in the Starfleet Reserve Fleet.
   In the final design, the OMEGA Class ship is eight percent smaller than the GALAXY Class. A larger storage bay allows moderate damage to the ship to be repaired without the assistance of a starbase. The only irreparable damage would be loss of life and the severe damage or destruction of a warp nacelle.

COMPUTER SYSTEMS:
   The systems testing with the NOGURA allowed for numerous refinements in the OMEGA Class' equipment. Early on, it was realized that the mission parameters were computer processing power intensive. It was decided at that stage to incorporate two additional Computer Cores into the Nogura. Later testing proved this to be less than ideal due to incompatibilities discovered between the subroutines of the engineering and shield control programs while the two were shoehorned into the same hardware.
   As a result, the OMEGA was designed with six cores. Two Duotronics M-9A AICS are devoted to Navigation, Ship's Control, Ship's Systems, and Library Resources.
   One Duotronics M-IO mod 0 AICS is designed specifically for Ship's Engineering. The 'mod 0' was developed for the Omega due to the presence of the second antimatter core. Fleet doctrine calls for a separate computer to control each antimatter core in use. To get around this Starfleet R&D, in conjunction with Duotronics and the Daystrom Research Institute, came up with the M-10 mod O. It consists of two distinct hemispheres, each one tasked with controlling one of the cores. Contact between the two hemispheres is limited and tightly controlled, with all information passing between them being run through the best debugging programs Federation science can produce.
   Sensory and Communications share a standard Duotronics M-10 AICS. These systems cross connect with the Library Resource functions of the main computers and the Tactical System.
   One Duotronics M-11 AICS is used for Fleet Tactical Evaluation and Extrapolation. A subroutine of this system is a holosystem that displays current tactical information in the Flag Bridge, allowing the Fleet Commander to literally step into the battle to see how things are developing.
   The last computer is also a Duotronics M-11 AICS. This computer is dedicated to the new Shield Point Defense System, which is described in a following section.

POWER SYSTEMS:
   The OMEGA design is rare in its use of twin Antimatter cores for propulsion and on-board power. Additionally, the Omega design incorporates twenty-one fusion reactors to power the maneuvering thrusters and the ship's internal power grid. Ships batteries are capable of maintaining minimal life support for seventy days, or ship wide life support and essential systems for twenty-one days. The ship's survival locker also contains the parts necessary for the construction of a solar sail to provide supplemental power in the event of a catastrophic disaster.
   Main Power and Warp Propulsion are provided by an FIWF-1 antimatter core. This system provides power to the warp field coils in the nacelles as well as to the ship's EPS Power Grid and Tactical Systems.
The FICE-1 core serves as the primary auxiliary power system. In addition, it also provides power directly to the EPS grid, tactical, sensors, and communications. It is nominally in a 'Standby' mode, producing about five units of power. This way, it can go through a 'hotstart' procedure to fully operational status in ten minutes. In the event of a primary core loss or shutdown, the FICE-1 can be cross-patched into the feeds for the warp field coils, allowing the vessel to proceed to a repair facility at a reduced warp velocity.
The impulse drive is the new FIG-4. This, plus 21 fusion thrusters built into the edges of the ship's hull, has greatly improved the maneuverability of the ship to exceed those of all vessels of heavy cruiser size and up. Standard procedure is for the fusion reactors to be on a one-third rotation. Seven are on line at all times, seven are in standby mode, and seven are in a maintenance cycle shutdown. During a Yellow Alert, standby reactors are brought on line and the cold reactors are brought to standby readiness. During a Red Alert all reactors are brought on-line. While the combined power of the fusion reactors is minimal when compared to the output of the two antimatter cores, they can support the essential systems while freeing up power that could be more effectively used for the shields or weapon systems.

WEAPON SYSTEMS:
By design, the OMEGA's primary weapons are her communication and sensory systems. However, should push come to shove, the Omega should be well capable of taking care of herself. The basic OMEGA CLASS weapons are as follows:
10 Phaser banks
- 2 FH-1S's, 300-degree arc phasers, upper and lower faces.
- 8 FH-11's, strategically located to eliminate blind spots.
The phaser systems have been designed to cover all possible attack vectors. Recent advances have been able to increase the range of these systems considerably.
4 Photorp tubes, 2 fore, 2 aft.
Capable of launching all classes of Starfleet torpedoes and probes. Launching system is the Lawing Model 1. The Lawing-1 incorporates a cylindrical magazine drum that holds up to six projectiles. The magazine is moved into position at the breach of the tube, and the projectiles are accelerated through the use of a magnetic field rail gun. Once clear of the shields, the projectiles engine~ fire, propelling it to its designated target. One Lawing-1 uses the forward tubes, while another uses the aft tubes. Two tubes are required to allow sufficient cool down between firings. The Lawing-1 is capable of launching 18 projectiles per minute. Primary system designer - Civilian Engineer Darnell Lawing.

SHIELD POINT DEFENSE SYSTEM:
The shield system is the standard triple-layer variety used on dreadnought Class vessels. A single shield generator can provide protection for one-sixth of a ship's hull. The triple-layer shield system can multiply that protection threefold, if needed. This particular field has seen great advances due to the knowledge acquired during the Borg Incident. The only difficulty in spreading this leap forward in shield technology to all Starfleet vessels is the need for a Duotronics M-l1 AICS to run it.
The Shield Point Defense System (SPDS) is a revolution in the application of power devoted to defensive systems. SPDS can pin-point where an attack will strike on the hull and can redirect the energy of a shield generator to the precise region that will be hit. Current shield technology will only accept a temporary increase of two hundred percent, or triple the original shielding. With improvements in the materials and generators, this value will definitely increase.
The SPDS can only redirect energy that is already there; it cannot increase the amount of energy sent to that specific generator. It is important to remember that there is not enough energy to cover the entire ship with the triple layer of shields. SPDS controls power sent to the shields depending upon the possible vectors of attack; i.e. the forward section may have full power directed to its shield, while the aft section may have no shielding at all.

MISSION PARAMETERS:
While the initial design sprang out of Starfleet's desire to develop a 'Fleet Command and Control Vessel' specifically targeted for defending against Borg encroachments, the ship they received has proven its worth already in a number of non-combat situations. OMEGA Class missions to date include the evacuation of Shrevana IV, Search-And-Rescue Coordinator for the passenger liner SS AHNLACH, and the defusing of several incidents along the Cardassian Treaty Border.
With the production run now past its midpoint, Starfleet Command is looking to expand the scope of OMEGA Class operations. While most of Federation space is well charted, large portions remain unexplored.  After the discovery of the Dyson sphere along one of the Federation's peripheral trade routes, the USS OMEGA and the USS HIGHLANDER NCC1782D have been assigned to charting and exploring some of the gaps in the UFP's map.
Once all eight are commissioned, as many as six could be assigned to internal exploration. This would allow Starfleet Command to utilize these vessels unique abilities while keeping them close at hand in the event that they might need to fulfill their intended role.

USS OMEGA plan views http://s97.beta.photobucket.com/user/cherokee43v6/library/USS%20OMEGA
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« Reply #31 on: Sat, 05 Jan 13 15:13:00 »

USS OMEGA Class

STATISTICS
CATEGORY: Command and Control
Classification: Heavy Cruiser
Class: Omega
Name: U.S.S. Omega
Naval Construction Contract: 25743
Date Entering Service: 52570.0
DIMENSIONS
Length: 662 m
Width: 467 m
Height: 115 m
Tonnage: 3,000,000 mt
Superstructure Points: 140
Damage Chart: C
Cargo Units: 650 scu
Cargo Capacity: 32,500 mt
Crew: 615 VIP: 150
Decks: 36
TRANSPORTERS
6-person: 14
12-person: 8
22-person: 2
Cargo, small: 5
Cargo, large: 3
SHUTTLECRAFT
Docking ports: 4
Shuttlecraft bay: 1
Work Bee: 20
Shuttle Pod: 12
Std. Shuttle: 16
Heavy Shuttle: 10
Lifeboat, 10-per.: 35
Lifeboat, 20-per.: 25
Lifeboat, 30-per.: 15
ENGINEERING
Total Power Units Available: 278
Movement Point Ratio: 7/1
Warp Engine Type: FIWF-1, 2 nacelles
Power Units Available: 2(50)
Secondary Core Type: FICE-1 (core only)
Power Units Available: 90
Stress Charts: E/F
Max. Safe Cruising: Warp 7
Emergency Speed: Warp 9.65
Max. Speed: 9.97
Max. Speed using FICE-1: Warp 8
Impulse Engine Type: FIG-4
Power Units Available: 46
Fusion Reactors/Thrusters: Chiokis Fusion Reactors
Number: 21
Power Units: 21(2)
WEAPONS
Beam Weapon Type: FH-15
Number: 2
Firing Arcs: 300-degree Collimator Arc f/p/s
Firing Chart: Y-2
Max. Power: 30
Damage Modifiers: +3 (1-15); +2 (16-23); +1 (24-28)
Beam Weapon Type: FH-11
Number: 8
Firing Arcs: 1p, 1s, 2a/upper, 2a/lower, 1 upper, 1 lower
Firing Chart: Y
Max. Power: 20
Damage Modifiers: +3 (1-11); +2 (12-20); +1 (21-24)
Missile/Probe Launch Mechanism: Lawing-1
Missile Weapon Type: FP-l0 (max.) - can use types FP-1 to FP-10
Launch Tubes: 4
Firing Arcs: 2f, 2a
Firing Chart: S
Arsenal: 350
Launch Capacity: 6/round, 1.5 rpm (per tube)
Power to Arm: 3 per round
Damage: 30
SHIELDS
Shield Point Defense System
Deflector Shield Type: FSU-3 (triple layered)
Shield Point Ratio: 1/5
Max. Shield Power: 27 (81)
Shield Grids: 6
Recovery Time: 2.7 secs.
COMPUTER CONTROL
Ship Control and Navigation: 2 Duotronics M-9A AICS cores
Ship Engineering: Duotronics M-l0/O AICS
Sensors and Communication: Duotronics M-l0 AICS
Fleet Tactics: Duotronics M-11 AICS
Shield Point Defense: Duotronics M-11 AICS
OPERATIONAL CAPABILITIES
Range: 33,190 light years
Expected Lifetime: 50 Std. yrs.
Period between Refits: 15 Std. yrs.
Primary Sensor Radius: 4.0 parsecs
Automated Telemetry Control Radius: 3.0 parsecs
Tractor Beams: 2
Max. Towing Capacity: 5,600,000 mt
Max. Range: 78,000 km
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« Reply #32 on: Tue, 08 Jan 13 22:10:16 »

Add me to the list (more than anything in Star-Trek) and I can help with technical aspects of the Macross universe (and old DC Comics)
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« Reply #33 on: Sun, 13 Jan 13 14:03:55 »

Add me to the list (more than anything in Star-Trek) and I can help with technical aspects of the Macross universe (and old DC Comics)


Thank you.  I'm kind of hung up on my Robotech crossover 'Ad Esse Fortis'.  None of it has been beta'd at this point, would you mind taking a look at what is posted and giving a bit of feedback?  (I am doing it as a Robotech crossover and not Macross, mainly because I am far more familiar with the Harmony Gold product than the original Japanese story)

http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-27222/HMaxMarius+Ad+Esse+Fortis.htm

hmm
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« Reply #34 on: Tue, 15 Jan 13 13:42:36 »

Self writing note... may delete later (at work, and don't want to lose idea)

In 'Infinity Box' universe... Story Title: 'Soveriegn Omega'

(btw, this is a mnemnonic for me to remember the idea and a massive juicy hint for those that get it)
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« Reply #35 on: Sat, 26 Jan 13 12:05:23 »

I was reading the comments to your story.
I vote for an extra book containing short stories, those that occur in the Holo-deck ....
For example:
Did you know that you can build the Millennium Falcon using Federation technology? Wink
Or X-wings? Cheesy
Or twinkies? Grin
Or the gang watching movies like "True Lies" or "Cruel Intentions" Cool
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« Reply #36 on: Mon, 28 Jan 13 00:55:35 »

Interesting ideas ...

Update for those watching this forum... I have completed the draft of the next chapter...  the first 22 pages went out to the beta last week and came back this weekend... the remaining 28 pages went to the beta on Saturday..

Yes, your math is correct and the pre-beta'd chapter stands at 50 pages... =)

I hope you like to hear Xander sing!

And for folks who think a fight between a federation starship and a ha'tak is a walk in the park...  you have just been drafted for damage control parties Wink

theme music for writing this massive chapter:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uf0T2riQ_QY  'Tenchi Muyo 'Pioneer''
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« Reply #37 on: Tue, 26 Feb 13 05:11:41 »

If built using Traveller: Interstellar Wars rules the Omega-Class Command and Control Cruiser would be 2,508,938 displacement tons. 1 displacement ton = 500 cubic feet. The Omega-Class would be classified as a Dreadnaught in the Traveller game system.
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